Don’t get me wrong, I have many, many reasons to be grateful to the NHS. It has saved my life on at least two occasions. I wouldn’t be here writing this today if it wasn’t for the skill and care of paramedics, nurses, doctors, and surgeons. However, having just spent 19 days in four hospital beds on four wards in two hospitals, I have had plenty of time to reflect as I gazed at the ceilings. My random observations are listed below.
- Spiders that crawl up the walls beside your bed in hospital appear at least twice as big as the spiders that crawl up your bedroom walls at home. And there is also a clear correlation between your inability to move and the size of the spider.
- The “call bells” are always there when you don’t need them, and always out of reach (usually on the floor) when you are in your greatest need.
- The American military obviously first came up with the idea of using constant invasive sound and/or sleep deprivation as a means of torturing prisoners after a visit to a British Hospital where the use of quieter electronic notification means had not yet been considered.